Danielle Klafter
Reflections on writing, life, and contemplative spirituality
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Why am turning to the feeds? Am I bored? Insecure? Looking for worth? Spiraling in comparisons? Venting my anger? Numbing out to avoid something more difficult in my life, or even just a mundane task or a five-minute wait that I don’t want to face?
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“We all have the same amount of time, so feeling like we have all the time in the world is really about managing expectations. Some suffering, the kind we must learn to be good at, is inevitable. But other suffering is self-imposed. In particular, we suffer when expectations exceed reality.”
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I had to leave church in order to grieve and be a mess because my grief and mess seemed to make others uncomfortable. They didn’t know what to do with me. Some sadness might be allowed, but then it needed to be hurried up and gotten over. Jesus fixes everything after all. He is the…
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In The Awakened Heart, Gerald G. May writes, “I think most people have trouble with prayer because prayer is really an act of love, and therefore demands vulnerability. As with the love, the more we try to control prayer, the less prayer can happen.
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At the root of asking, Why do bad things happen? is a much deeper, dangerous question: Does God love me? Personally, I think the challenge is to answer the second question without always getting a clear answer to the first. Suffering is a mystery. Learn to hold the mystery. Work to accept that you aren’t…
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Doubt is not a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. It’s not an omen of the death of your faith. It’s an invitation to open and trust. It’s an opportunity to acknowledge that you are part of a mystery that is so large and breathtaking that it will take more than a…
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I don’t believe in the infallibility of scripture anymore. Depending on who you are, I’m aware reading that statement may have just caused you an incredible amount of anxiety or defensiveness. That’s okay. I’d encourage you to take a deep breath. I’m not here to attack you. Give me a chance to explain. I believe…
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Expectations often work as demands, while hope is willing to suffer through the messiness of life and disappointments without giving up. Expectations clench things tightly in a fist, while hope holds hands open, willing to surrender.
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I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). It’s a type of neurodiversity. It’s not an official psychological diagnosis yet like ADHD. But my husband has a mild version of ADHD and I mentally frame the needs of our brains and nervous systems on opposite ends of a similar spectrum. He needs more stimulus to focus and…
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I once knowingly got engaged to a man who had formerly slept with prostitutes. Writing those words and seeing them on the page now fills me with horror. What?! I can’t believe I did that. But at the time, I was convinced I was following a good path. How did I get there? I’ve spent…
- Domestic Monastery Part 3: My Own Monastery Bell
- Domestic Monastery Part 2: Tailoring the Framework to What Your Life Already Is
- Domestic Monastery Part 1: The Framework of Ora Et Labora
- Abundance ≠ Comfort
- Roots
I read my blog aloud as a podcast:
Danielle Klafter 